XWA Fever Episode 2 Segment 1: Bucksaw Jim Dawson VS Vladimir Maximov

Adam Mooney

ADAM MOONEY

Xtreme Wrestling Alliance Head Announcer

Is at the XWA Announce Table and Says: *The opening credits for the show finish as I stare blankly into the camera unaware that we are live and on the air. The seconds tick by in silence until Erik Richmond scream into the left side of my headset bringing me back to attention.* “What? Oh! Er..ah… Welcome fans to another action packed episode of XWA Fever! Last week we witnessed the  shocking return of Nightmare to capture the XWA World Heavyweight Championship from John Harshcastle Jr. What will be the fallout here tonight? What does this mean for the Heavyweight Championship match at Deadly Liaisons? Answers we hope to have later tonight! As always I am joined by my broadcasting colleagues Patience Devine and Gorgeous Gavin Glitter!”

 

patience & gavin

Patience Devine & Gawwwaaadgus Gavin Glitter 

XWA Color Commentators 

Is at the XWA Announce Table and Says:

Glitter: “Ahh no Adam Mooney Dats GAWWWAAADGUS GAVIN GLITTER!!! Ya gotta let it roll off yo tongue brotha!”

Patience: “I thought the Pay Per View was called “Dangerous Liaisons”? Did somebody change the name or something?”

 

Vladimir Maximov

Vladimir Maximov

Red Army Strong

Is at the Gorilla Position and Says: *A musical rendition of the Russian National Anthem plays over the house speakers as the X-tron flickers to life with an animated Soviet Union flag flapping on screen. I step out on the stage in a red bomber jacket emblazoned with the hammer and sickle on the back and wearing furry Ushanka Hat. I carry a Soviet flag waving it vigorously as the fans boo me. I make my way to the ring berating the booing fans as I go. I climb into the ring and turn saluting the animated flag on the X-tron.*

 

patience & gavin

Patience Devine & Gawwwaaadgus Gavin Glitter 

XWA Color Commentators 

Is at the XWA Announce Table and Says: 

Glitter: “Look at the size of the dome on dat man! Say baby dis is 2017 right? Don’t dat boy know dere ain’t no Soviet Union no mo?”  

Patience: “I like his hat. Will you buy me one baby? I want one with white fur.”

Glitter: “anythang fo my sugah!”

 

Adam Mooney

ADAM MOONEY

Xtreme Wrestling Alliance Head Announcer

Is at the XWA Announce Table and Says: “The Big Russian looks fired up tonight! Last week he and the Golden Sheik came out on the losing end against Bucksaw Jim Dawson and XWA newcomer Iron Eagle. Iron Eagle used some questionable tactics to last week to secure the win for his team! Iron Eagle hit Golden Eagle…excuse me…Golden Sheik in the throat with the end of the flag pole. Bucksaw wasn’t too happy with his protégé when he saw the replay. After the match Maximov turned on the Golden Eag…er Sheik and challenged Bucksaw and Iron Eagle to a rematch at “Dangerous Liaisons” against himself and his cousin Nikita which I am told Bucksaw and Iron Eagle accepted the challenge. Maximov is now asking for the crowd’s silence as he sings the Russian National Anthem.”

 jim_dawson “Bucksaw” Jim Dawson

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Is at the Gorilla Position and Says: *just as Maximov is about to start singing “Stars and stripes forever” blasts from the speakers cutting Maximov off. Irate Maximov kicks the bottom rope and complains to the ref and the ring announcer as I step through the curtains followed close behind by Iron Eagle waving old glory. I raise my trusty 2X4 high in the air giving my signature war cry of “HOOOOOOO!”. I march to the ring giving the cheering fans a thumbs up. I tuck the 2X4 underneath the bottom turnbuckle in my corner then rolls into the ring. I march to the center of the ring coming nose to nose with Maximov.*

 

Vladimir Maximov

Vladimir Maximov

Red Army Strong

Is in the XWA Ring and Says: *The Ref separates us then calls for the bell to start the match. We lock up in the middle of the ring in a collar and elbow tie up. I try to overpower Bucksaw and shove him backwards but he barely moves. We lock up once more this time Bucksaw returns the favor shoving me backwards with enough force to send me crashing to the mat on the back of my head rolling me completely over coming up to one knee. embarrassed and enraged I charge across the ring at Bucksaw and gets taken to the mat with a side headlock takedown. I claw my way back to a vertical base and shoves Bucksaw off of me into the ropes. Bucksaw bounds off the ropes and collides shoulder to shoulder with me neither of us budge an inch. Bucksaw motions for me to try and knock him down. I charge off the ropes with all the speed and force I can muster colliding shoulder to shoulder with Bucksaw. Bucksaw doesn’t move an inch. I try again and still Bucksaw doesn’t budge. Frustrated I motion to Bucksaw that it’s his turn. Bucksaw charges off the ropes and runs through me like a mack truck driving me hard into the mat. I quickly get back to my feet kicking the bottom rope in frustration as Bucksaw leads the fans in a “USA” chant.”

 

Adam Mooney

ADAM MOONEY

Xtreme Wrestling Alliance Head Announcer

Is at the XWA Announce Table and Says: “It’s been a battle of power VS power early on and Bonesaw clearly has th..” *I stop abruptly mid sentence as XWA owner Alexis Santos freaks out in the right side of my headset telling me never to mention that name on the air again. Rattled, I try to collect myself and continue calling the match.* “I…uh…ahem…well ah sorry about that fans I had a little slip of the tongue there. I meant to say is Bucksaw not Bone…ah…anyway back to the match! Bucksaw clearly has the upper hand in the power department! What say you Patience and Gavin?”

 

patience & gavin

Patience Devine & Gawwwaaadgus Gavin Glitter 

XWA Color Commentators 

Is at the XWA Announce Table and Says: 

Glitter: “We got two, count em two big hombres in there tonight baby! The action is Hawt and only gettin hawter! Now ain’t that GAWWWAAADGUS!!!”

Patience: “Why can’t we say Bucksaw I thought that was his name?”

 

Iron Eagle

 IRON EAGLE

The Hero You Need

Is at the Ringside and says: *I cheer on my tag team partner from the floor vigorously waving old glory. Maximov raises his hand in the air challenging Dawson to a test of strength. I along with the fans try to warn Dawson not to trust Maximov and just as their fingers lock Maximov doubles Dawson over with a kick to the stomach. Maximov follows up with a series of clubbing forearms to the back then scoops Dawson off the mat and drops him across his knee with a vicious back breaker. Maximov holds Dawson on his knee pushing down on Dawson chin and knee trying to bend Dawson in half. Finally Maximov lets Dawson slump to the mat. Dawson rolls on to his stomach writhing in pain. Maximov bounds off the ropes and drops a heavy knee to the small of Dawson’s back. Dawson screams out in agony stretching his hand out towards the fans trying to draw energy from the fans. Maximov drops another knee to Dawsons back then drags him back to his feet. Maximov yells at the fans chanting “USA” then drags a thumb across his throat signaling that the match is over and then locks Dawson in a Russian Bear Hug. Maximov pours on the pressure squeezing the life out of Dawson. Dawson struggles to free himself but unable to do so he starts to fade. The ref lifts Dawson’s limp arm letting it drop once. As the ref lifts Dawson’s arm for a second time I climb up on the ring apron with Old Glory and Bucksaw’s 2X4 in hand.*

 

Vladimir Maximov

Vladimir Maximov

Red Army Strong

Is in the XWA Ring and Says: *I see Iron Eagle climbing up on the ring apron out of the corner of my eye and releases Dawson letting him slump to the mat. I turn my attention to Iron Eagle yelling at him as he waves the American flag in my face. I try to grab the flag out of Iron Eagle’s hands. Eagle responds by spitting in my face. I wipe the spit off my face glaring at Iron Eagle then lunges at him. The Ref jumps in between us trying to separate us. During the fracas Iron Eagle tosses the 2X4  into the ring to Dawson.*

 

jim_dawson “Bucksaw” Jim Dawson

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Is in the XWA Ring and Says: *Unaware of what is going on I struggle to get to my knees. I see my 2X4 lying on the mat and grabs it using it as a crutch to push myself back up on my feet. I raise the 2X4 high in the air as the fans cheer me on. I look at the 2X4 then at Maximov’s exposed back as he tussles with Iron Eagle and the ref. I raise the 2X4 about to strike when I change my mind not wanting to win that way and tosses the 2X4 out of the ring just as the ref restores order and sends Iron Eagle back to the floor. I make my way to Maximov holding my ribs. I grab his shoulder turning him to face me. I land a series of lefts and rights backing Maximov into a corner. I attempt to Irish whip Maximov to the opposite corner but he reverses the whip sending me crashing hard into the corner turnbuckle. Maximov Charges in after me but I mange to get a foot up catching him square in the jaw. Maximov sways on the spot and I charge out of the corner connecting with a clothesline. Maximov gets back to his feet and I connect with another clothesline followed by another. Finally I scoop Maximov off the mat planting him with a bodyslam. I march to the opposite corner giving the fans a mighty “HOOOOO!” then drops into the 3 points stance ready to end the match. As Maximov gets to his feet I charge across the ring looking for the  football tackle. Maximov dives out of the way at the last possible second and I slam shoulder first into the ring post and spills out of the ring to the floor. The ref begins a 10 count as Maximov tries to shake the cobwebs. Iron Eagle rushes to my side helping me to my feet and drags me towards the ring as the count reaches 6. Having recovered Maximov reaches over the top rope grabbing my hair pulling me up on the ring apron breaking the 10 count in the process.*

 

Iron Eagle

 IRON EAGLE

The Hero You Need

Is at the Ringside and says: *Maximov hooks Dawson and attempts to suplex him back into the ring. As Maximov lifts Dawson I grab Maximov’s ankle tripping him. Maximov falls flat on his back with Dawson on top of him. I hold onto Maximov’s leg pulling down while ducking down out of sight beside the ring as the ref slide into position unable to see me and slaps the mat 1…2…3 while Maximov struggles unable to kick out. I release Maximov’s leg and pops back to my feet acting all innocent then climbs into the ring and pulls Dawson to his feet. I raise Dawson’s arm in victory much to the delight of the fans!*

 

Adam Mooney

ADAM MOONEY

Xtreme Wrestling Alliance Head Announcer

Is at the XWA Announce Table and Says: “Bucksaw Jim Dawson picks up the win albeit with a little help from Iron Eagle on the outside! I don’t think Dawson is aware of what went down but he is seeing it as we speak on the video replay on the X-tron and Dawson doesn’t look happy! in fact he’s having some words with Iron Eagle now!”

 

patience & gavin

Patience Devine & Gawwwaaadgus Gavin Glitter 

XWA Color Commentators 

Is at the XWA Announce Table and Says: 

Glitter: “What’s the 2X4 man upset fo he won didin he? The Glitter man always takes a win any way he can get it! The less damage this sexay face takes the better!”

Patience: “Oh it’s over? I like Iron Eagle! Hey baby can you pop over to the merchandise table and buy me an Iron Eagle mask?”

Glitter: “Wouldntcha rather a GAWWWAAADGUS pair Gavin Glitter shades instead sweet cakes!”

Patience: “Ummm…Can I have both? You’re not actually going to make me pay for the shades are you?”

Glitter: “Of course baby! Normally I’ll take cash or plastic but all I want from you is sum o’ dat sweet, sweet sugah! HAWT! HAWT! HAWT! OWWW HAVE MERCY BABY!!!”

 

jim_dawson “Bucksaw” Jim Dawson

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Is in the XWA Ring and Says: “I hold my shoulder as I admonish Iron Eagle for cheating. Iron Eagle and continue to argue until suddenly there is murmur from the capacity crowd…*

nikita

  NIKITA MAXIMOV

The Russian Sickle

Is in the Stands and says: “I make my way through the sea of fans with a collared chain fastened around my neck and loops of chain dripping down my chest. I leap the guard rail and slides into the ring behind Dawson. Iron Eagle sees me but before he can warn Dawson I wrap the chain around my forearm  and connects with a vicious chain wrapped forearm to Dawson’s back crumpling him to the mat. I take a swing at Iron Eagle too missing by a good 6 inches. Iron Eagle clutches the face as though I made contact and falls through the ropes landing on his feet on floor outside the ring. Vladimir and I pummel Dawson in the ring. Vladimir barks orders to me and I oblige pulling Dawson to his feet. I shock the fans by gorilla pressing the 290lb Dawson and then slamming him to the mat prompting a “holy sh*t” chant from the fans.*

 

Iron Eagle

 IRON EAGLE

The Hero You Need

Is at the Ringside and says: “My eyes widen in shock as Nikita Maximov gorilla pressed Dawson. I clutch the side of my face in agony even though I wasn’t hit and stumbles around the ring side area trying to shake the supposed cobwebs. Vladimir drags Dawson to his feet and tells Nikita to hit Dawson with the hammer. Nikita charges across the ring connecting with a hellacious “Russian Hammer” clothesline made infinitely worse by the fact that Nikita has his arm wrapped in the chain. The “Russian Hammer” turns Dawson inside out leaving him in a heap. Nikita leans over the top rope with is tongue out glaring at me expecting me to try and save Dawson while Vladimir rains down on Dawson with heavy right hands. I continue to clutch the side of my face and stumbles away from the ring and halfway up the ramp. Numerous officials run past me climbing into the ring and trying to get the Maximovs off of Dawson. The fans hit me with a smattering of boos as I stumble farther from the ring for not at least attempting to save my tag partner.*

 

Adam Mooney

ADAM MOONEY

Xtreme Wrestling Alliance Head Announcer

Is at the XWA Announce Table and Says: “Nikita Maximov has made his XWA debut in a big way! He just absolutely destroyed Bucksaw Jim Dawson! I’ve never seen anyone manhandle Bucksaw like that before! Iron Eagle appears to be injured! I’m not sure what exactly happened to him. I never saw him get hit by anyone or anything at least from my vantage point! Did you or Patience see what happened to Iron Eagle Gavin?…Gavin?” *Looks to my left where Gavin and Patience should be and realizes that they already left to go to the merchandise table.* “Well..ah…I guess they didn’t see anything either! On that note fans there is plenty more action here tonight on XWA fever! Don’t touch that dial!” *I glare in the direction of the merchandise table while the officials try to reestablish order in the ring. The show then goes to a commercial break*

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