XWA Fever Ep. 1: part 1: You’re Fired!!!

newxwalogo

XTREME WRESTLING ALLIANCE

*Everything is shrouded in blackness when suddenly a door opens and a shaft of sunlight cuts through the darkness. Row by row lights buzz to life  revealing an empty arena long since shutdown. The seats in the stands are covered by heavy dust covered tarps. The camera pans around as one by one the tarps are pulled off sending clouds of dust into the air. Faint cheering of years gone by can be hear slowly getting louder. The camera angle changes to a shot of an empty dusty ring. The camera circles the ring before changing to an over head view of the ring and distant shot of the logo on the mat in the center of the ring. The camera begins to zoom in on the logo. The logo gets closer and closer until it takes up the entire screen. The faint cheering gets louder. The logo is encrusted in dust and barely legible. A hand drags across the logo cutting a path through the dust revealing the XWA logo.  The logo begins to glow fiery bright as the cheers intensify then the logo explodes transitioning in to a pyro filled live shot of the capacity crowd in the arena starting the show*

 

mcmadden2   VINNY MCMADDEN

Channel 5 Wrestling Lead Announcer

Is at the ringside Announce table and Says: “Welcome to Channel 5 wrestling!!! Don’t adjust your TV sets folks you are not dreaming! That is indeed Alexis Santos and Bubba Riley standing in the middle of the AWX Ring! They are the new owners of this esteemed company having purchased the company from Dom Alexander. Dom Alexander made an unexpected appearance at the R.D. Bradley Tournament last night and revealed that he was the owner but that he had sold the company to someone who wanted it “badly” and that someone turned out to be none other than long time AWX rivals and former owners of XWA Alexis Santos and Bubba Riley! I looks like Alexis is ready to address the fans and indeed the AWX locker room! Lets listen in.” *Camera goes to a shot of Alexis and Bubba standing in the middle of the ring.*

 

alexissantosALEXIS SANTOS

New Owner of AWX

Is in the Ring and says: *Surveys the capacity crowd as I get a mixed reaction from the fans. The XWA faithful cheer wildly while the AWX diehards boo me heinously. Bubba stands at my side. We are flanked on either side by Bubba’s private security. Smiling I bring the mic to my lips.* “How sweet it is! After nearly 15 years of ridicule and condemnation from this company here I stand with it in the palm of my hands as it’s new owner! Change is in the air my friends and what better place for that change than right here in Miami Florida in the old XWA arena! First of all never again will this company be referred to as American Wrestling Xtreme or AWX! I am proud to announce that this company will from now on be called the Xtreme Wrestling Alliance! XWA is back! Also This show will no longer be called “Channel 5 Wrestling”! From now on this show is XWA FEVER! Speaking of Channel 5 Wrestling, Vinny McMadden could you please join me in the ring!”

 

mcmadden2   VINNY MCMADDEN

Channel 5 Wrestling Lead Announcer

Is at the ringside Announce table and Says: *I remove my headset not taking my eyes off of Alexis unsure of what she is up to. I make my way to the ring climbing the steps and stepping through the ropes coming face to face with Alexis.*

 

alexissantosALEXIS SANTOS

New Owner of AWX XWA

Is in the Ring and says: “Vinny I have been watching your efforts at the announce table the past few weeks and I have to say I’ve been disappointed. You lack that certain something that we here at XWA strive for. It pains me to do this Vinny but.. YOU’RE FIRED!!! and the same goes for that revolving door of co-announcers you’ve had! Now get the hell out of my ring!”

 

mcmadden2   VINNY MCMADDEN

Channel 5 Wrestling Lead Announcer

Is at the ringside Announce table and Says: *Stunned I stand there with my mouth hanging open. I’m completely unaware of Bubba who uses his walking stick to trip me as I turn to exit the ring. I fall flat on my face. Embarrassed and red faced I get myself up on all fours but before I can grab the ropes to pull myself up Bubba shoves me with his foot to my ass knocking me down again. In a towering rage now I scramble to my feet glaring at Bubba and breathing heavily. One of Bubba’s personal security tries to grab my shoulder to direct me out of the ring. I slap his hand away yelling at him not to touch me. I then tear off my AWX sports coat and throws it Bubba’s face and exits the ring. I stop on the stage glaring at Alexis and Bubba red faced and wide eyed then exits through the curtains to a healthy “Vinny” chant.*

 

alexissantosALEXIS SANTOS

New Owner of AWX XWA

Is in the Ring and says: “Now that that bit of unpleasantness is behind us please allow me to introduce XWA’s new Play-by-Play team PATIENCE DEVINE & HER MAN GAWWWAAADGUS GAVIN GLITTER!!!”

 

patience & gavinPATIENCE DEVINE & GAWWWAAADGUS GAVIN GLITTER

XWA Lead Announce Team

Is at the Gorilla Position and Says: *A generic classic rock theme play over the speakers as I step out on the stage in a gold sequin dress. I stop at the top of the ramp waiting for my man. Gavin explodes through the curtains wearing a matching gold sequin tuxedo jacket with a bowtie but no shirt and wearing wrestling trunks and boots. I run from one end of the stage to the other playing up to the crowd. I run to meet my main squeeze wrapping an arm around her as we make our way to ringside taking our seats at the announce table putting on our headsets* “This show just got a whole lot more GAWWWAAADGUS BABY!!” *Patience gives a girlish giggle as Alexis applauds us in the ring.*

 

 

alexissantosALEXIS SANTOS

New Owner of AWX XWA

Is in the Ring and says: “Do you people have any idea how it feels to hold someone’s livelihood in the palm of your hand? I do because I have each and every member of the roster’s fate in my hands! So what do you think people? Should I fire some of the dead weight around here? Maybe I dunno Christian Banner? That little snake in the grass who tried cheat his way to the championship! What do you think? Or how about Meng Lao? You know big guy likes to grunt and scream a lot and is a real tough guy…as long as he’s behind a computer screen! What about Tommy Forever? Maybe we’ll keep him around. Hey Tommy we have a pair of green suspenders waiting for you buddy! *laughs* Or what about Krull Valhalla? You’ve been a thorn in my side for years Krull but firing you is just too easy! You, I’m going to enjoy making you suffer! I could start with his running buddy Bonesaw Jack but nah that would be a moot point anyway! Speaking of Bonesaw Jack…yes I have it! The perfect people to start with! *grins sadistically* PARODY GANG! Get out here now! *Men without Hats “pop goes the world” starts to play over the house speakers.* “Shut that damn music off I never want to hear that song again!”

 

lexi_licious

 LEXI LICIOUS

Leader of the Parody Gang

Is at the Gorilla Position and says: *I timidly step through the curtains followed by Bubba Licious, Big Red, Blane Newhart, Honeydew and Herpes the clown in her street clothes and no makeup. A few fans recognize her prompting a mild “Reaper” chant which she acknowledges waving to the crowd. We make our way to the ring. We climb the steps single file and step into the ring. The Ring attendant hands me a mic as I step through the ropes. We stand in a line with our heads down as Alexis walks back and forth the line contemplating. I summon all my courage and brings the mic to my lip.* “P-Please don’t fire us Alexis. We’re good people we were just doing our jobs it was nuthin personal. I-If you want we can start makin fun of Krull and Bonesaw.”

 

 

alexissantosALEXIS SANTOS

New Owner of AWX XWA

Is in the Ring and says: “What I want is for you to shut up! *continues pacing* For nearly 15 years you and these idiots have ridiculed me! You’ve ridiculed Bubba! But most of all you’ve ridiculed XWA! You made me and my company a laughingstock! I have waited a long time for this LEXI…YOU’RE FIRED!!! AND TAKE THAT FAT LUMP WITH YOU! *points at Bubba Licious* *Lexi and Bubba Licious exit the ring in tears as the fans boo me heinously. The other 4 seem to momentarily think they have been granted a reprieve until I scream at them to leave too. Big Red, Blane Newhart and Honeydew all leave the ring leaving Herpes in the ring. “Are you hard of hearing Herpes? You’re fired! Get the hell out of here! What? You got something you want to say to me?!”

 

herpes HERPES THE CLOWN 

No More Clowning Around

Is in the Ring and Says: *Bends down picking up the mic Lexi dropped on the mat. I straighten back up brushing my long black hair out of my eyes while bringing the mic to my lips.* “You got it all wrong Alexis, The parody gang didn’t make you and XWA a laughingstock, you did that all on your own!” *Enraged Alexis makes to slap me across the face but I stop her in her tracks.* Do it! Do it! I dare you! Because if you do I will knock you on your ass and that goes double for you Bubba, and honey don’t for a minute think that I won’t!” *a massive “Reaper chant starts in the crowd.* “All the parody segments were was Bonesaw…yeah that Bonesaw the one who had more than enough of your bullsh*t, sitting in front of a tv in his dressing room watch the weekly episode of XWA then he write every main storyline that you and Bubba came up with showing it for what it was! Complete and utter garbage! You see somewhere along the line you guy forgot that you were writing a wrestling show! Nobody gave a damn who was marrying who! Nobody gave a damn who was have a baby with who and for damn sure nobody gave a damn about watch a bunch of over paid prim donnas sitting around in a restaurant! The fans wanted wrestling and you didn’t give it to them! That’s why XWA became a laughingstock and that’s why you and Bubba became laughingstocks. You wrote that crap and you put it on the air that’s on nobody else’s shoulders but yours! SO you want to fire me that’s fine but I’ll be damned if I will let humiliate me like you just did to my friends and like you did to Vinny McMadden!” *I throw down the mic reaching into my pocket. I pull the Herpes clown wig throwing it in Alexis’s face and exits the ring. I make my way up the ramp stopping on the stage to soak in the crowd reaction.*

 

alexissantosALEXIS SANTOS

New Owner of AWX XWA

Is in the Ring and says: *Throws the wig to the mat kicking it out of the ring.* “Oh no no no! Herpes! If you think I didn’t slap you because you thought I was afraid of you your wrong “honey”! You see you never send a woman or a man to do a clown’s job!” *As I say the word “clown” Violent Ed steps out on the stage behind Herpes.*

 

Motorcycle Details

 VIOLENT ED

Wicked Clowns Never Die

Is on the Stage and Says: *I grab Herpes’ shoulder wheeling her around. She sidesteps a clothesline attempt and catches me with a high impact spinning back fist to the jaw that stuns me dropping me to one knee. Herpes drags me to my feet scooping me up about to spike me into the steel stage with a “Reaper Sleeper” (Michinoku Driver). I break the hold sliding down her back. I catch her with a vicious superkick to the face as she turn around dropping her to her knees. I pull Herpes to her feet lifting her across my shoulders. I edged towards the edge of the stage then launches Herpes off the stage with a death valley driver sending her crashing through a stack of tables. I look down at her amongst the twisted wreckage and laughs hysterically as the fans hiss and boo me. Alexis looks on from the ring smiling with approval.*

 

lexi_licious

 LEXI LICIOUS

Leader of the Parody Gang

Is on the Floor Level and Says: *EMTs hit the scene checking on Herpes. I and the other parody gang member burst through a curtain at the bottom of the stage. I push the EMTs away violently kicking and scratching them. I drop to my knees next to Herpes. I gingerly lift her unconscious head cradling it in my lap. Tears stream down my face causing my mascara to run. I wipe my eyes on the on the back if my wrist further smearing mascara across my face. Slowly I look up my whole body trembling with rage. I stare at Alexis in the ring smirking at me mascara smeared wildly across my face still shaking with rage as the show goes to commercial.*

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