Old School Battle Royal (Channel 5 Wrestling Weekend Special)

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Vinny McMadden:

Channel 5 Lead Announcer

Is in the press box and says:*adjust my headset as I am counted down to air time. Jesse works the crowd next to me.* “Welcome to Channel 5 Wrestling!!! As you can see there is a considerable amount of humanity in the ring right now we are just about ready for the old school Battle Royal to determine the second half of the participants in the first annual R.D. Bradley Memorial Tournament !”

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Jesse “The Body” Victorious

 Channel 5 Wrestling’s Voice of Reason

Is in the press box and says:*Turns and faces the camera with Vinny.* “That’s right McMadden, and not only will the winner go down in history as the first ever winner but he will also be the new AWX Champ! I tell ya McMadden I was gonna come out of retirement and win this thing but my doctor wouldn’t clear me to get in the ring. I over did it training for this thing and herniated a disc in my back. I guess that’s what happens when you’re doin squats with 400lb barbell across your shoulders. Even With a herniated disc I could have won it all McMadden!”

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Vinny McMadden:

Channel 5 Lead Announcer

Is in the press box and says: “I’m sure you would have Jesse. Though I think it’s more likely that your swelled head caused the herniated disc. If indeed there was one. By the way It’s good to have you back in the broadcast booth tonight. Where were you last week anyway Jesse?”

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Jesse “The Body” Victorious

 Channel 5 Wrestling’s Voice of Reason

Is in the press box and says::”Not that it’s any of your business McMadden but if you must know I was out campaigning! You’re lookin at the next Mayor of Minneapolis! Did you just call me a liar McMadden? I oughta slap that silly lookin toupee off your head for that.”

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Vinny McMadden:

Channel 5 Lead Announcer

Is in the press box and says:*gives a hearty laugh*“I wouldn’t dream of calling you a liar Jesse! Mayor of Minneapolis eh? At any Rate seeing as this is the “old School” Battle Royal we here at Channel 5 wrestling thought it would only be appropriate for the play by play to be called by an old school announce team so without further ado let’s send things over to the one and the only “The Voice of the masses” Jim E. Controversy and his broadcast colleague “the Voice of the xtreme” Joey Hutch! Take it away Jim E.!”

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says: “Thank you Vinny! Goddamn it’s good to be back! I never thought I would say but it’s even good to see you Joey!”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“Thanks Jim E…I think. This is going to be a hell of a battle royal! The Ring is packed with legends and future hall of famers! The likes of Krull Valhalla, Bonesaw Jack, Tommy Forever and Ric Chamberland to name a few. I think we are waiting for one more participant and we’re ready to go!”

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“There’s a lot of beef and a lot of bad blood in that ring Joey and right you are we are waiting for one more! I wonder which AWX Lege…” *Gets interrupted by “pop goes the world” by men without hat* “Oh God no! Anyone but him!” *takes my headset off rubbing the bridge of my nose*

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Bubbalicious

Pork Rind Eating Legend

Is at the Gorilla Position and says: *I lead the parody gang through the curtain in a conga line. Lexi Licious, Big Red, Honeydew, Blane Newhart and Herpes the clown trail behind me. I reach into a large bag of pork rinds and throws a handful out to the booing crowd. I shove another handful in my mouth leaving crumbs tangled in my beard. We make our way to ringside circling the ring once. I detach myself from the conga line and hands Lexi the bag of pork rinds. I reach up grabbing the top rope and struggles to pull myself up on the ring apron. The rest of the gang helps out pushing on my ass until finally tumble through the middle rope and into the ring.*

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:*Just shakes my head in disbelief.*

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“Well…Ah…That was an entrance. Nice to see Herpes out of rehab” *scratches my head as I shrug at Jim E.*

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:*Readjusts my headset* “I may need to check into rehab after tonight because it will take a hell of a lot of Whisky to wash this from my memory! Jesus, they couldn’t find anybody else to be in the battle royal? I’m sure Larry “the man” Rideout is available. Just how on earth do you know Herpes was in rehab? Do you keep tabs on these idiots? On second thought Joey I don’t want to know. Let’s just get back to the business at hand! Folk the last eight standing in this battle royal will go on to join the final eight from last week’s Battle royal to compete in the R.D. Bradley tournament and the winners of both Battle Royals will get to choose their respective first round opponent! The Bell has sounded and we are underway!”

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Super J Monster

What you Fear the Most

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*I immediately go after the biggest man in Colossus. We trade punches much to the delight of the crowd. We tie up against the ropes each trying to muscle the other over the top rope*

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“Super J wasted no time going after Colossus! He’s been in a bad mood the past couple of weeks since he was upset in a one on match against new comer Boomerang Jack. It’s the proverbial unstoppable force meeting the immovable object here with Super J and Colossus!”

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Jesus Estrada Jr.

Unmasked and Unleashed

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*Sees the two big men going at it I motion to Pure Dynamite, Tenzahn and J.C. to work together to eliminate the two giants. The four of us charge at J Monster and Colossus grabbing their legs and trying to tip them over the top rope*

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:”Looks like Estrada is teaming up with Tenzahn, Pure Dynamite, and J.C. Word to try and eliminate the big men!”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says: ”Not a bad idea to try and get the big men out first! A little Strategy never hurts but in the end it’s every man for himself!”

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Super J Monster

What you Fear the Most

Is in the AWX Ring and says: *Colossus and I start swatting the four man group away… Lex Legacy and Ron Stoppable Join in grabbing Colossus’s legs trying to tip him over the top. Pure Dynamite and Tenzahn bound off the ropes at me I miss them with a double clothesline and they hit the opposite ropes and connect with a double drop kick to my back that sends me hurling forward slamming into Colossus knocking him the rest of the way over the top rope. Colossus grabs J.C Word and Ron Stoppable taking them both with him as he goes over the top eliminating all three.*

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“The Big men are swatting Estrada and his gang away like flies! Legacy and Stoppable are joining in! They almost have Colossus over the top! Dynamite and Tenzahn duck the clothesline…Double Dropkick sends J Monster colliding into Colossus and Colossus has been eliminated!”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says: “Colossus didn’t go alone he managed to take J.C. Word and Ron Stoppable with him and we’re down to 27 left!”

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Super J Monster

What you Fear the Most

Is in the AWX Ring and says: *Enraged by Tenzahn and Dynamite’s attacks I swat them away like flies. Tenzahn bounds off the ropes trying to hit me with a high cross body…I catch him in mid air and tosses him with so much force that he helicopters halfway across the ring before landing in a heap . I turn my back playing up to the crowd…The crowd showers me with a chorus of “boos”…I turn around into a series of forearm shots from Jesus Estrada.*

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“Sweet Jesus! Super J is unstoppable! He just tossed Tenzahn around like a rag doll!”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says: “It appears Estrada has a death wish or something he’s trying to go toe to toe with the monster! Those forearm shots are having absolutely no effect on the big man!”

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Jesus Estrada Jr.

Unmasked and Unleashed

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*I pepper Super J with lefts and rights that have no effect. I bound off the ropes and connects with a dropkick that just bounces off the big man. I attempt to hit the ropes again but Super J catches me with a clubbing forearm to the back of the head that floors me.*

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Super J Monster

What you Fear the Most

Is in the AWX Ring and says: *I drag to your feet propping you up in the nearest corner…I Batter you with a series of vicious lefts and rights to the body and face…blood pours from your nose and lip as I pummel you senseless. I drag you out of the corner and lifts you off your feet, I press you high over head then launches you over the top like a torpedo and you crash to the floor with a thud.*

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Meng Lao

Pain is For the Weak

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*Detox swings for the fences with his Singapore cane snapping it off across my head. He just stands there holding the broken cane in disbelief that I’m still standing. Out of the corner of my eye I see Super J destroying Estrada and tossing him from the ring. I connect with a vicious superkick that sends Detox careening over the top and to the floor. I turn my attention to Super J stalking toward him.*

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:”Super J just absolutely mauled Estrada before eliminating him! I don’t know if anyone in AWX can measure up to the Super J Monster!”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:”OH MY GAWD!!! Detox just snapped a Singapore cane over Meng Lao’s head and Lao is just looking at him like it was a WCW foam 2×4! Lao nearly took Detox’s head off with that kick and Detox has been eliminated! Uh Oh! I think Lao saw what Super J did to Estrada and he’s not happy! For those of you who may not know it Lao and Estrada struck up a bit of a friendship of sorts back in XCW. Estrada managed to earn Lao’s respect which is no easy task! Fans all hell is about to break loose!”

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Super J Monster

What you Fear the Most

Is in the AWX Ring and says: *I roar at Estrada lying in a heap outside the ring “That’s what happens when you mess with the Monster little man!” I turn around to find myself face to face with Meng Lao!*

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Meng Lao

Pain is For the Weak

Is in the AWX Ring and says: *We Stare each other down as the crowd whips itself into a frenzy. Finally we attack each other with vicious lefts and rights as tousle around the ring like a pair of fighting bull elephants. The other participants give us a wide berth trying to avoid getting trampled by us. We wind up leaning against the ropes teetering on the verge of toppling over the top.*

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Bubbalicious

Pork Rind Eating Legend

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*I stumble around the ring trying to avoid everyone. Reese Thunder bumps into me and I back away not wanting any part of him. Not paying attention to where I’m going I back into Lao and Super J against the ropes with just enough force to send them both toppling over the top to the floor eliminating them both. Terrified at what I just did I try to get as far away from that side of the ring as I can and I hope and pray that neither Lao nor Super J saw who did it.*

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“Lao and Super J are tearing each other apart! The other competitors are giving the two behemoths a wide berth! They’re on the ropes now and it’s a battle of wills to see who can force the other over the top and…and…you have got to be kidding me!”*slams my headset down in disgust*

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:”Well I never thought in a million years I’d be saying this but Bubbalicious has eliminated both Super J Monster and Meng Lao…although I don’t think he wants anyone to know it was him!”*Jim E. can be audibly heard in the back ground yelling “Who booked this sh*t?!”*

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Cyrus Diablo

Trust Me

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*The Refs try to get in between Super J and Lao as they fight their way up the ramp through the curtains. During the commotion I dump Stallion Romano over the top to a thunderous ovation. However the refs did not see it due to the commotion caused by Lao and Super J. Romano scoots back in under the bottom rope. Behind mine and the refs backs and catches me with a high knee between the shoulder blades that sends me spilling over the top rope to the floor. The Ref declares me eliminated. I get to my feet arguing with the ref that I had already eliminated Romano. Romano makes a mock crying gesture towards me then points and laughs at me…frustrated I drop the ref with a sickening DDT on the concrete floor. I get to my feet kicking the ref out of the way and reaches under the ring pulling out the squirming bag. I untie the bag as Romano looks on in terror. I slide the snake into the ring at Romano’s feet and Romano dives over the top rope to the floor eliminating himself. Romano jumps the railing and takes off through the crowd while everyone else in the ring stays as far away for the snake as possible. I pull the snake back out of the ring and drapes it around my neck and exits the ring side area to a thunderous ovation.*

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:*Puts my headset back on after regaining my composure* “ Well Lao and Super J are out of the battle royal but all hell is breaking loose outside the ring! The Refs are trying to break Lao and Super J apart. Good luck with that guys!”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:”Cyrus Diablo has finally gotten a measure of revenge on Stallion Romano eliminating him from the battle…wait a minute Romano is back in the ring! I don’t think the refs saw what happened they were too busy trying to separate Lao and Super J! I don’t believe this not only has Romano hoodwinked his way back into the match he just eliminated Diablo with a Pearl Harbor sneak attack! That’s twice in the past couple of weeks that Romano has pulled the wool over Diablo’s Eyes!”

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“Diablo is hot and rightly so but the refs didn’t see what happened! Oh my! That’s going to cost Diablo in the pocket book he just dropped the ref with a DDT on the concrete floor! Diablo just set the snake loose in the ring and everyone is clearing out of the ring! Romano is so he just dived over the top rope eliminating himself! Folks We have to take a commercial break while the refs try to restore some order! Don’t touch that dial!”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says: ”Welcome back folks to channel 5 wrestling! During the break we lost a few more competitors, Reign and Morbid were taken out by a double clothesline over the top by the Nuclear Warrior, Tenzahn missed a flying body press on the reflection of perfection and sail over the top and out of the battle royal, and finally Ric Chamberland pulled down the top rope and used Rock Remmington’s own momentum against him to send him spilling over the top rope! That brings us down to 17 men remaining!”

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Bubbalicious

Pork Rind Eating Legend

Is in the AWX Ring and says: *I continue to do everything possible to avoid everyone in the match. Nuclear Warrior chases me around the ring until he runs into a clothesline from War Machine. I stop to catch my breath, I wipe my brow on my wrist band as I turn around right into a hellacious spear from Reese Thunder! The force sends knocks me into the ropes and I fall backwards through the middle ropes and lands on the back of my head on the concrete floor. I appear all the world to be knocked out cold. The refs try to bring me around to no avail. My main squeeze Lexilicious races to the ring side with a huge bag of pork rinds. She opens the bag and waves it under my nose but nothing happens. Lexi frantically waves for more help as I open my eyes and lift my head slightly peaking to see what’s happening. I lay my head back down and close my eyes again and waits hopping to get a little “mouth to mouth from my main squeeze.*

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Herpes the Clown

Herpes is No Laughing Matter

Is at the AWX Ringside:*I come racing down to ringside wearing a nurse’s cap and rubber gloves. I kneel down next to Bubba listening to his chest. I check his pulse and call out to Bubba getting no response. Finally I tilt his head back and pinch his nose and takes a big breath and starts to administer mouth to mouth.*

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Bubbalicious

Pork Rind Eating Legend

Is in the AWX Ring and says: *as soon as Herpes’ mouth touches mine I lay the wettest, sloppiest kiss on her all the while thinking it’s my main squeeze Lexi, until I hear Lexi screaming at me “What the hell are you doing?!” My eyes instantly pop open and I realize I’m kissing Herpes the clown. I immediately pull away coughing and retching. I duck my head under the ring apron getting violently ill. The ref asks Lexi if I can continue the match, she ducks her head in under the apron for a moment then comes back out telling the ref that I am unable to continue. The ref relays the message to the ring announcer and the announcer declares me eliminated.  Lexi Finds a bucket under the ring and gives it to me. I manage to get to my feet while hugging the bucket. Lexi walks me up the ramp and back through the curtain while I hug my bucket occasionally putting my face down into it and retching some more. Herpes follows behind us snapping her rubber gloves menacingly.*

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“Bubbalicious is running for his life! One can only speculate how it is possible that he is still in this thing! He may not be in it much longer though! Bubba just ran into a storm in the form of a spear from Reese Thunder! He knocked Bubba right through the ropes and out of the ring! Bubba may have knocked himself out cold! Lexi is on her way to ring side with a bag of pork rinds, Bubba’s equivalent to popeye’s spinach if you will. Wow Bubba may really be out of it! Lexi is calling for more help but instead she got herpes…uh..the clown I mean!”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:”I didn’t know Herpes was trained in first aid, it looks like she’s attempting mouth to mouth and… OH MY GOD!!! Bubba is laying a wet one on Herpes but I think he thinks it Lexi he’s locking lips with and…yup Bubba just realized who he’s kissing and now he’s getting violently ill under the ring, in fact that’s it he’s done! Bubbalicious is unable to continue and has been eliminated! I’m not sure there’s enough whisky in the world to wash that taste out of Bubba’s mouth!”

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“Goddamn! I think I’m going to need to gargle some whisky after watching that Hutch!” *Shakes my head as Bubbalicious exits through the curtains*

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Nuclear Warrior

Feel the Power of the Warrior…

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*I grab Kurt Hanson by the hair dragging him across the ring and tosses him over the top, Hanson manages to hang on to the ropes and rolls back in under the bottom rope. I turn away from him walking right into a “Raging Climax”(RKO) from Mike Hawk. I no sell the “Raging Climax” Popping back up to my feet. I Grab him tossing him into the ropes and catching him coming off with a flying shoulder tackle. I bound off the ropes catching you with 3 more tackles…*

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Mike Hawk

Explosion Imminent

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*Wobbly I pull myself up on the ropes…I see Warrior stalking towards me but I also see War Machine stalking the Warrior…I drop to my knees pulling down the top rope as War Machine drill the Warrior in the back of the head sending him careening over the top rope and out of the match.*

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Reese Thunder

Who’s Next?

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*I wait for War Machine to turn around measuring him as he plays up to the crowd after eliminating the Nuclear Warrior…War Machine turns around just as Hawk gets to his feet and take them both over the top rope and out of the match with a double clothesline much to the delight of the crowd…their delight is short lived though as Lex Legacy grabs me from behind and dumps me over the top eliminating me too. A brawl ensues on the outside between War Machine, Nuclear Warrior, Mike Hawk and myself.*

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:”Hanson narrowly escapes elimination at the hands of the Warrior! RAGING CLIMAX!!! Hawk hit the Raging Climax on the Nuclear Warrior and…and..sweet Jesus it had zero effect! The Warrior is back on his feet and he’s beating Hawk from pillar to post! Wait a minute from behind War Machine hit the Warrior from behind and sent him over the top and out of this match! Nice, War Machine, nice! You didn’t have the balls to attack the warrior head on, and you call yourself the War Machine? Pearl Harbor is more like it!”*wipes my brow*

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“War Machine is making one of the most common mistakes in a battle royal! He’s more focused on what’s going on outside the ring than inside and he’s gonna pay for it big time! Here comes Thunder and both Mike Hawk and War Machine have been eliminated! Wait a minute Lex Legacy from behind and now Reese Thunder has been eliminated! A four way brawl has erupted outside the ring between War Machine, Thunder, Hawk and the Nuclear Warrior! WHO’S GOING TO MAKE THE FINAL 8? WHO’S GOING TO WIN IT ALL AND PICK THEIR OPPONENT IN THE OPENING ROUND OF THE TOURNAMENT? WE’RE ALL GOING TO FIND OUT AFTER THE COMMERCIAL BREAK!!! DON’T TOUCH THAT DIAL!!!”

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:”Folk we are now just one elimination away from finding out who will be the final 8! During the break Dane Masters and Draven Fheenix teamed up to eliminate Tommy Forever! Kurt Hanson was eliminated after Unforgiven countered the Reflection of Perfection(perfect plex) crotching Hanson on the top rop, Unforgiven then connected with vicious big boot the the head to knock Hanson over the top and out of the match! Finally with one of the most heinous displays I have ever seen, Krull Valhalla slipped outside of the ring under the bottom rope and grabbed a tire iron he had obviously hidden from under the ring. Krull’s son Jon Jr. was on the verge of eliminating Carnage when Krull blasted his own flesh and blood Jon Jr. with the tire iron lacerating Jon Jr.. He then dumped his nearly unconscious son over the top to eliminate him! You’re a real piece of work Krull! You’re day is coming pal and I personally can’t wait to see it!”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:”Bonesaw Jack, Ric Chamberland, Lex Legacy, Krull Valhalla, Teddy Wellington, Dane Masters, Carnage, Unforgiven and Draven Fheenix! One of these 9 men will be the bubble boy on the outside looking in while another will win it all and get to hand pick his opponent for the first round of the “RD Bradley Memorial Tournament! Who is going to be?! Let’s get back to the action Jim E.!”

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Teddy Wellington

Pure Dynamite

Is in the AWX Ring and says: *Chamberland and Valhalla double team Bonesaw while everyone else pairs off trying to eliminate one and other. Legacy attacks me from behind with a series of stiff forearm shots to the back pummeling me to the mat. He scoops me off the mat lifting me across his shoulders into the “Legacy Rack”(torture rack)…I scream and writhe in agony unable to escape…finally Legacy drops me to the mat and I crumple in a heap..Legacy grabs me by the hair dragging me to my feet and tosses me over the top rope. I manage to grab the rope as I go over hanging on for dear life…I dangle by one hand and one foot touches the floor as I struggle to stay in the match. I manage to grab the top rope with my other hand and “skins the cat” getting back in the ring. Legacy is posing on the at the ropes on the opposite side of the ring celebrating thinking he has made the top eight and made it to the tournament. I charge across the ring catching Legacy with a drop kick between the shoulder blades that sends Legacy spilling over the top rope and to the floor to a thunderous ovation!*

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Lex Legacy

Lives are Short…Legacies are Forever

Is at the AWX Ringside:*I hit the cold concrete with a resounding thud…I quickly jump back to my feet in disbelief at what just happen. I slam my hands down on the ring apron in anger and frustration not to mention embarrassment. I point at Dynamite yelling “this isn’t over you vanilla midget!”

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Teddy Wellington

Pure Dynamite

Is in the AWX Ring and says: *Not taking kindly to the “vanilla midget” remark I flip Legacy of while yelling “Fook you Legacy you inflated c*nt”*

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“The Horses of Valhalla are all over Bonesaw Jack! They’d like nothing better than to see Bonesaw go out on the bubble!”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says: “Wait a minute Jim E., It looks like Legacy is going for the kill with Pure Dynamite Tommy Wellington! He Has Wellington in the Legacy rack softening him up and there goes Tommy over the top rope!”

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:”Hang in there Tommy! Hang in there! Wellington is dangling with one hand on the top rope! One foot has touch the floor however both feet must touch to count as an elimination! The Old skin the cat trick and Wellington is back in it!

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says: “Look at Legacy he thinks he’s punched his ticket to the tournament! Wellington with a drop kick and Legacy is out!!! We have our final 8! Legacy is incensed and oh my! We apologize to our viewers for that bit of colorful language from Pure Dynamite!”

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“To a nicer guy it couldn’t of happened! A little premature celebration on Legacy’s part! I hear that ain’t the only “premature” problem he has! Fans we have to take one final break, we have the final 8 and when we come back we’ll have a winner! Don’t you dare miss it!”

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“Folks we are back and ready for the final 8! Draven Fheenix, Ric Chamberland, Unforgiven, Bonesaw Jack, Dane Masters, Carnage, Krull Valhalla and last but certainly not least Tommy “Pure Dynamite” Wellington who has put on a hell of a showing here tonight Hutch!”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“Indeed, Jim E., Some may see it as somewhat of an upset that Tommy has made this far. But I’ve watched this young man for many years and if it’s one thing I’ve learned it’s never to underestimate Tommy Wellington! Now let’s get back to the action in the ring!”

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Krull Valhalla

Anti-Extreme

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*All eight competitors circle each other…each waiting for the other to make a move. Ric and I exchange glances…we exchange grins then we both calmly leap over the top rope to the ring apron. I flip everybody off in the ring for good measure then both Ric and I drop to the floor eliminating ourselves. The fans shower us with “boos” and garbage as we make our up the ramp and through the curtains.*

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“You can cut the tension in the ring with knife Hutch! Who will strike first and..and…Wait what the hell? What the hell are Krull Valhalla and Ric Chamberland doing? They just eliminated themselves!? What the hell was that all about?”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:”I think I get it Jim E. They’ve made it to the final 8 they don’t care who they face in the R. D. Bradley Memorial tournament. The Horses of Valhalla have decided to live to fight another day rather than give these fans what they paid to see!”

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Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“If you ask me The Horses of Valhalla are a bunch of cowards taking the easy way out of the match! *Takes my headset off and yells at The Horses of Valhalla calling them a bunch of cowardly nags as they pass by the announce table*

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Dane Masters

The Enterprise

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*Taking advantage of the confusion of the Horses of Valhalla self elimination Draven and I attack Bonesaw from behind while he is yelling at Krull as he exits the stage. We beat Bonesaw down to the mat with a barrage of kick and punches. I signal to Draven to hold Bonesaw up…*

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Draven Fheenix

Risen From the Ashes…

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*I drag Bonesaw to his feet hooking his arms behind his back. I nod to Dane signaling that Bonesaw is ready and wide open to attack…*

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Dane Masters

The Enterprise

Is in the AWX Ring and says: *I get up close and personal in Bonesaw’s face screaming at him that he is nothing but a hardcore has-been. I give Bonesaw a couple of paint bursh slaps across the face then spits in face…I bound off the ropes and gets half way across to Bonesaw and Drave and stops dead in my tracks grinning…I turn away and hops over the top rope to the apron and drops to the floor eliminating myself. I start backing up the ramp laughing at both Bonesaw and Draven.*

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Bonesaw Jack

Lets Play a Pain Game

Is in the AWX Ring and says: *glaring at Masters outside the ring I drive the back of my head into Draven’s face forcing him to release me. I beal toss Draven across the ring then pummels him with a series of stiff forearm shots… I charge across the ring as Draven pulls himself up on the ropes. I bound off the opposite ropes and catches Draven on the other side with a hellacious clothesline that sends both of us spilling over the top rope and to the floor eliminating us from the match.*

jime

Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:*Gets my headset back on* “Dane Masters and Draven Fheenix are really taking it to Bonesaw Jack! Come on Dane, spitting in the man’s face!? Really!? You’re a real piece of work! Dane off the ropes now and…wait a minute not this sh*t again! Dane Masters has eliminated himself from this damn match taking a page out of Krull Valhalla’s playbook!”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:”Bonesaw has freed himself and is stomping a proverbial mudhole in Draven Fheenix! OH MY GOD!!! BONESAW CONNECTS WITH A CLOTHESLINE AND TAKES BOTH HIMSELF AND DRAVEN FHEENIX OUT OF THE MATCH AND WE ARE DOWN TO 3!!!”

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Bonesaw Jack

Lets Play a Pain Game

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*Gets to my feet panting…I start stalking towards Dane Masters on the ramp while wiping sweat and spit off my face. Dane wastes no time high tailing it to the backstage area.*

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Teddy Wellington

Pure Dynamite

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*Unforgiven focuses his attention on me driving me back in the corner with a blatant choke. He crumples me in the corner with a series of lefts and rights. Unforgiven then drags me to my feet  twisting my arm…Unforgiven ascends the top rope then crumples me with the “old school forearm to the back…Unforgiven drags a thumb across his throat then toss me over the top…I manage to catch the rope as I go over and attempts to skin the cat one more time…Unforgiven tries to break my grip on the rope and I swing my legs up around his head in a head scissors and slowly drags him over the top with all the force I can muster…*

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Carnage

The White Devil

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*as Unforgiven is pulled over the top and out to the floor…I place a well aimed knee to the side of Wellington’s head breaking his grip on the rope and he too falls to the floor. The Crowd erupts as the Ref calls for the bell declaring me the winner!*

jime

Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:”Jesus Christ Tommy Wellington is on the wrong side of an ass whooping from Unforgiven! I think the Bell is about to toll for Tommy! Wait a minute Tommy Skins the cat again! Unforgiven isn’t going to fall for that! Tommy got him and Head scissors and is dragging Unforgiven kicking and screaming over the top!”

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Joey Hutch

The Voice of the Xtreme

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“Go Tommy! Go! Pure Dynamite has done it! He’s Eliminated Unforgiven and…Out of nowhere Carnage With a vicious knee to the head of Tommy Wellington and Wellington has been eliminated! That’s it The White Devil has done it! Carnage has won the Old School Battle Royal and the right to choose his first round opponent in the R.D. Bradley Memorial tournament!”

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Carnage

The White Devil

Is in the AWX Ring and says:*The Ring announcer announces me as the winner of the battle royal and raises my hand in victory as the capacity crowd roars with approval. I play to the crowd pointing at the R.D. Bradley poster hanging from the ceiling and making the belt gesture around my waist*

jime

Jim E. Controversy

The Voice of the Masses

Is at Ringside Announce Table and Says:“Tommy Wellington put on a hell of show here tonight but in the end it was The White Devil’s night! Who will Carnage choose to face in the first round? Most would pick whomever he sees as the weakest man in the tournament. Carnage? Knowing him he may just go for the biggest tree and try to chop it down! That’s it for Hutch and myself, back to you Vinny and Jesse! Controversy out!”

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Vinny McMadden:

Channel 5 Lead Announcer

Is in the press box and says: “There you have it Jesse! Carnage the White Devil has joined Wyatt Macray in the winner’s circle! Next week, live on Channel 5 Wrestling, Both men will choose their first round opponents! The remaining brackets will be filled randomly by the remaining participants and the preliminary round of the tournament will begin!”

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Jesse “The Body” Victorious

 Channel 5 Wrestling’s Voice of Reason

Is in the press box and says: “Carnage and Macray will have their work cut out for them! I don’t see any gimmie matches in the list of guys that have made it to the tournament!”

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Vinny McMadden:

Channel 5 Lead Announcer

Is in the press box and says:Right you are Jesse and…hang on a second Jesse…I’m get word that there’s a limo out in the parking lot and I’m being told that Carnage is headed that way. We have a camera following him let’s see what this is all about!”*Removes my headset and wipes my brow as the we switch to the parking lot feed.*

carnage

Carnage

The White Devil

Is in the Arena Parking Lot and says: *Still in my ring gear I push open a side door in the arena and steps out into the night with a camera man following close behind. I dry the sweat from my body with a towel as I head towards the back of the building. Turning the corner of the building I see a long white limo parked with the engine still running. I walk up to the limo and stops while momentarily looking over my shoulder then taps on the tinted window…The window lowers to reveal the salt and pepper and smiling face of… Will Micman! The former owner of DWF!*

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Will Micman

The Devil Himself

Is in the Arena Parking Lot and says:”Carnage! Carnage! Carnage! My Boy! My white devil! I told you this was going to work!”

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Carnage

The White Devil

Is in the Arena Parking Lot and says: “I don’t know about this man. How do I know I can trust you? How do I know this isn’t going to be DWF all over again?”

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Will Micman

The Devil Himself

Is in the Arena Parking Lot and says: “Carnage baby! Who took you in all those years ago when both XWA and AWX wouldn’t tolerate your…shall we say many indulgencies? It was me I gave you a place to shine my friend! Look we’re all here so why don’t you hop and we can discuss the finer points of the deal?”

carnage

Carnage

The White Devil

Is in the Arena Parking Lot and says:”So you finally managed to get everyone together? I must say I’m impressed I didn’t think it was possible.” *Opens the limo door. The camera peers into the limo revealing three others besides Wil Micman…seated next to Wil is his right hand Kane Darkhart and sitting across from them is former RWC owner Honey and next to her is former TeW owner Macdaddy!. I slide into the limo next to Honey nonchalantly placing my hand on her inner thigh as Kane hands me a wine glass. The door closes and the Limo pulls away from the building…*

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